Coaching Vocabulary: Gremlin

It slowly creeps in... you thought you had it under control and yet again the internal chatter begins. What does your gremlin say today? Are you not good enough? Not smart? Not creative? We all know that this is not healthy. You need to stop it right now - but how?

Well it helps to know that none of the above is relevant -  you don’t have to be good enough, smart or even creative for that matter, to be successful in life. You have to work hard and smart at something you are crazy about and with time (approx 10,000 hours that is) it might turn into tangible and in some cases spectacular results. 

What works for me in keeping my gremlin in check, is staying focused on the journey and the learning process. When learning is all I’m after, I’m always happy with the end result. After all, every experience, good and bad, is going to eventually teach us something important (provided we take time to reflect on it).

Bear in mind though that it pays off to get to know your gremlin well. Acknowledge it, thank even for keeping you out of trouble on many an occasion. And then part ways - learn how to distance yourself and make it  external voice. It is up to you to decide when you want to listen. 

You can be whoever you choose to be and no one is going to stop you, not even yourself!

 

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Coaching Vocabulary: Gratitude

There is a lot of noise in our life. And I mean A LOT OF NOISE. Interestingly, that noise seems to intensify as we grow older. We have families, serious responsibilities, and very little time - especially to ourselves. And when we get that stolen moment, do we not usually run errands that are overdue? We are busy, with no time to reflect.

How often do we get time to switch the noise off? Completely off, so we can hear the sound of silence, be in the moment. Is it when we’re caught off guard – something happens unexpectedly and we are forced to pause and think? Suddenly we see things for what they really are. Do we like what we see? It’s not even relevant - when we start paying closer attention and notice life as it unfolds, we usually come to that basic realization that there is always plenty to be thankful for, no matter what.

Why not pause without a reason?

ELLE DECOR

Coaching Vocabulary: Reflective Practitioner

Jason Fried and David Heinemeier, authors of Rework  believe that learning from mistakes is overrated. They advise to not listen to fail early and fail often, and argue that the only thing that you learn from a mistake is what you should not do again, but you are no wiser about what you actually should do. 

Failure does not make us more successful second time around

 “Failure is not a prerequisite for success. A Harvard Business School study found already-successful entrepreneurs are far more likely to succeed again (the success rate for their future companies is 34 percent). But entrepreneurs whose companies failed the first time had almost the same follow-on success rate as people starting a company for the first time: just 23 percent. People who failed before have the same amount of success as people who have never tried at all.” 

Success makes us less reflective

Francesca Gino and Gary P. Pissano agree, but raise an interesting point and an obvious obstacle - success makes us less reflective. In their recent article the authors say: "We all know that learning from failure is one of the most important capacities for people and companies to develop, let surprisingly, learning from success can present even greater challenges."

It is called the failure-to-ask-why syndrome

One of those challenges, according to the authors, is the failure-to-ask-why syndrome: "the tendency not to investigate the causes of good performance systematically." (...) "When you're confronted with failure, it's natural to ask why disaster struck. Unfortunately, success does not trigger such soul-searching. Success is commonly interpreted as evidence not only that your existing strategy and practices work, but also that you have all the knowledge and information you need." 

Taking time to reflect is the answer

Regardless of whether we failed or succeeded, it is the process of taking time to reflect and learn from those experiences that seems to be the key ingredient here, and a way to predict our future performance. This is an area where we are all gifted to a different degree, but the good news is that the ability to reflect is a skill that can be honed. Should you be interested, you can start by trying out this Free Reflective Practice Course from MIT.

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